Lorrie Morgan is opening up about the loss of her husband, Randy White. The couple had been married 17 years when White passed away on June 1, from mouth cancer. White was just 72 years old when he died, a tragedy that Morgan now says could have been prevented.
After his diagnosis, Morgan reveals she wanted him to visit a top cancer center to receive treatment. Instead, White wanted to remain close to home, a decision that still haunts Morgan, who believes the radiation in his mouth was given in the wrong spot.
“He went through months of radiation and chemo, and he just declined and declined,” Morgan tells People. “He was on tube feeding because he couldn’t eat anything through his mouth because of the damn hole in the back of his throat. It was his decision, his body, I got it, but it’s not where I wanted him to be, and not where his close friends wanted him to be.”
Lorrie Morgan’s Regret Over The Death Of Her Husband
Morgan wishes she could go back in time and try to convince her husband to make a different choice.
“There are days I’m angry and I’m mad at myself for not putting my foot down and saying, ‘No, you’re going here,'” she acknowledges. “He was just determined. … I talk to him. Most of the time I’m mad at him, and I apologize, and I’m like, ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.’”
White ultimately moved to hospice, which is where family and friends gathered around him to say their final goodbyes.
“We had everybody toast to him and tell their memories,” Morgan recounts. “They say that the last thing to go is the hearing, so we know that he heard us all expressing our love.”
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Lorrie Morgan Fins Love Again After Heartbreak
Morgan never thought she would get married again. After splitting from her fifth husband, Sammy Kershaw, in 2007, the Nashville native didn’t think she would ever find love again.
“After my last divorce, I said I would never get married again, because that marriage destroyed my heart,” Morgan concedes. “When he started talking about marriage, I still wasn’t sure that’s what I wanted. But… I felt safe with him. He had a great sense of humor, which is very important to me. He believed in God, he believed in family, and he just made me feel safe. He loved my children, and he loved my dogs. It was just a lot of qualities he had that were important to me.”
Lorrie Morgan Moves Forward Without Randy White
White might be gone, but his presence lingers. Back to touring, the 66-year-old knows she will likely always miss the presence of her late husband.
“I’m not afraid of being alone,” Morgan says.” I’m afraid of not ever having that safe feeling, where you can fall back into somebody’s arms and you know you’re taken care of. I think I made some of his dreams come true, and vice versa. I consider it a very special relationship and a special memory.”
Morgan is moving forward, but with a sadness that permeates everything she does in his absence.
“It’s been a tough year, and there’s days I just still can’t believe he’s not going to come in the door. I go out and look at where his garden used to be, and I’m heartbroken,” Morgan says. “There’s nobody that could compare or take Randy’s place.”
Find all of Morgan’s music and upcoming shows at Lorrie.com.
Photo Credit: PLA Media