Sara Evans was 12 years old when her parents unexpectedly divorced. For Sara, who was already struggling emotionally in the aftermath of being hit by a car when she was only eight years old, the event was deeply traumatic for her.

Now, happily married to former pro football player Jay Barker, Sara has a deeper insight into what does — and doesn’t — work in a second marriage.

“I’m so often shocked at how awful people act in second marriages, especially in regard to their stepchildren’s other parents,” Sara told Nashville Lifestyles. “It’s not OK to bash the other parent or bash your ex in front of your kids. People need to remember that if they didn’t go through it as a child, they have no idea what the kids are going through. It’s devastating to them. It can change who they are and cause so much tension and sadness.”

Sara spent six weeks in the hospital following her car accident — one of many trials the Missouri native would face in her own life. Although she admits she has been deeply, deeply tested at times, Sara says all of the events in her life, including the hard ones, helped shape who she is today.

“It taught me from a young age to deal with what life throws your way,” Sara acknowledges. “It also made me an optimist. I’m always telling my children to trust God and you can make it through anything. It’s always going to get better. There’s a reason for this. I really do believe that.”

Sara opens up in her Born to Fly memoir how her struggles with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) ultimately led her to seek out help from a medical professional, who wisely prescribed anti-anxiety medication.

“It calmed me down,” Sara says (via People). “Taking it also made me realize you’re not going to be this way forever. I always tell my kids, ‘The toll that anxiety takes on your body and on your mind, I think, is so much worse than if you have to take [medication] to calm down.’”

Born to Fly is available for purchase at SaraEvans.com.