Granger Smith’s wife, Amber, is continuing to remember the heartbreaking anniversaries surrounding the loss of the couple’s youngest son, River, who was only three years old when he drowned in the family’s swimming pool one year ago. In her latest post, Amber recalled walking down the hospital hallway, following their little boy to donate his organs.
“One year ago today, we took our “honor walk’ as we walked behind our sweet son down the long hallway to the operating room,” Amber recounted on Instagram. “River took his last breath in there, without his mommy and daddy. We know his spirit was with Jesus, but his earthly body was still present and it was so hard to let them close those doors without us. I’ll never forget waiting for what felt like hours for them to come back and tell us everything went wonderful, they were taking the organs to the recipients and he was at peace.
“They later told me they played the Cars soundtrack as they operated,” she continued. “I still cry thinking of the kindness and empathy from our hospital staff. June 6th was the day Granger and I vowed to not let this break our family. We now had to make the trip home without Riv in his car seat. We now had to tell our children their brother wasn’t coming home.”
Amber also shared a photo of the chalk art their older two children, London and Lincoln, had drawn in anticipation of their baby brother returning home.
“When we got there we saw this,” Amber wrote. “My heart hurt so bad knowing they colored these hearts anticipating his return. He wouldn’t return to our home but he was Home. We grabbed our kiddos, I could tell by her face, London already knew what we were about to say, and took them out into the woods where Riv always played. We sat together, held each other and had one of the hardest conversations I hope we ever have to have. Today, one year ago, began our trek down this rocky road of grief. There have been many turns, many bumpy spots and many just outright falls, but we are walking, we are moving, we are taking the next steps and I can say that one year later, we are different.
“In a strange way, we are stronger by His grace,” she concluded. “We have learned so much about ourselves and our family and our God. Today we start year 2. A lot of people say it’s harder than the first. I don’t know how it could be but I’m ready to take it on, even if I have tears streaming down my face. I’m ready to keep learning and keep growing and keep trusting my God. Greater is He that is in me in me, than he that is in the world.”
In an earlier post, Amber insisted that the family was holding on to their faith, even amid such unimaginable sorrow.
“I know God is working,” Amber said. “I know He will bring healing, new joy and transformation of our hearts through this pain. I know that when everything seems impossible, God will carry me and I know I will see you again. Until then, I will praise, I will fight, I will live for you with an open heart to try to learn and grow and trust God’s plan. My worst day was your best, little man, as you woke up in the arms of Jesus. I miss you. I love you. We can do this.”
To honor River’s life, the family created the River Kelly Fund, which helps in various areas, including those related to children, wildlife preservation, donor services, military and veteran services and more. Find more information at RiverKellyFund.org.
